Faking sanity
June 2010
20 posts
May 2010
22 posts
There are so many things that I would like to say and to write, but I don’t trust people to not take what I say and throw it back in my face.
Especially on here. I would love to be able to write all of my feelings, but I can’t. I don’t feel comfortable knowing that anyone could see them.
Everything is locked up inside my brain and I don’t know when I’ll be able to let it out.
be my penpal. i love getting letters, i write back, and i don’t judge. :)
any takers?
Why in the hell has it taken me so long to update this lately?
Probably because so far this summer is (mostly) awesome.
Went boating with some really cool people monday, probably the best day I’ve had in a while. Went to chicago for 3 days after, very exhausting, but very exciting. I love it there.
Everything went to shit when I got home. I’m wondering why I continue to give and give and give, yet you still don’t give a shit? Something is wrong there. Very wrong. Hope you realize what you’re losing before it’s gone. Good luck with that.
“
“if you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love.”
This is one of my favorite quotes from both this book, and novels class in general.
” —1984, george orwell (via twenty-seven) (via colorfieldsandwagonwheels) (via petapan)I loved today. Didn’t get burnt hardly at all, got to go tubing, hung out with awesome people, perfect weather. Love.
packing and getting ready for Chicago. Have to be up at 5am to we able to leave on time. dear lord.
So goodbye internet world for three days, it will be tough without you!
I have not really known what to say on this lately. I love getting to see all sorts of different people, instead of just the same old people. New faces, new minds, new jokes, I love it.
I’ve only worked two days, and I already just dread going to work everyday. That is not a good sign. Ever since I opened my mind and really stuck my heart into teaching, it is all I can think about. I love children, I am so happy when I’m around them, and being able to help them grow is going to be one of the most rewarding things I can think of. Shouldn’t that mean something? I don’t undersatnd why people stay in jobs and majors they hate, because it will never get them anywhere. Passion is one of the most important feelings in life, and not something that should be ignored. While looking for a job, spouse, anything really. If you don’t feel a drive to have it, is it really worth having?
Random Thoughts and What Not: Life, the Universe, Everything →
mattj07.tumblr.com
So I started my internship this week and it’s been pretty interesting so far. Not exactly what I expected, but still interesting stuff. I have been losing sleep though and I do not enjoy that. Thank god for weekends to make up on sleep. I’m ready for school again though, at least that will make me…
You say this like it is a bad thing, Matt. You should know by now I’m the only person that matters. ;D
“But I couldn’t be happier
Simply couldn’t be happier
Well - not “simply”: ‘Cause getting your dreams
It’s strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There’s a kind of a sort of, cost. There’s a couple of things get, lost
There are bridges you cross, you didn’t know you crossed Until you’ve crossed
And if that joy, that thrill, Doesn’t thrill you like you think it will
Still -With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who Wouldn’t be happier? So I couldn’t be happier.
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well.. isn’t it?” —Thank Goodness, Wicked
Simply couldn’t be happier
Well - not “simply”: ‘Cause getting your dreams
It’s strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There’s a kind of a sort of, cost. There’s a couple of things get, lost
There are bridges you cross, you didn’t know you crossed Until you’ve crossed
And if that joy, that thrill, Doesn’t thrill you like you think it will
Still -With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who Wouldn’t be happier? So I couldn’t be happier.
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well.. isn’t it?” —Thank Goodness, Wicked
The past four days have very possibly been the best days I’ve had all year.
I love having some free time, and I love having people to spend it with.
Please keep this up, summatime!
Samson
Regina Spektor
This song has been stuck in my head all day. no complaints here.
Do you remember?
When we were all little, and our elementary teachers asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up. We all were set on being veterinarians, astronauts, marine biologists, movie stars, astronauts. The possibilities were endless. What happened from then to high school? To make us lose hope in ourselves? At some point, someone somewhere told us that we weren’t smart enough, and really can’t be anything we want to be. We realized that not everyone can do the impossible, or make their dreams come true.
We realized that our life was meant to be average, we were never meant to “make a difference,” but just do enough to get by. I wish more people would just follow their dreams.
Things Have Become
A hell of a lot more difficult around here.
I want you to see that I am with you and I love you, and I always will. But I want other friends. I want people who share the exact same views I do. A friend that isn’t a petty female, a friend who I can talk to about anything for hours.
Can a girl and a guy really not just be friends anymore?
"...a bout de souffle": I am not being an English major to appease my high school English teacher, the monster Mrs. Rebmann →
dgcarson.tumblr.com
I made it a point of clarifying this to several people over the past few days. I am going to be an English teacher because I want to impact the lives of high schoolers and be a part of the drastic personal change that each of them will undergo over four years. I want to be a role model,…
God no shit, I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees this. She drove me crazy with all of her talk on that crap. I love reading, and she almost completely ruined it for me.
At long last,
two months of working for the deli are over with bonds bitterly broken. Now on to the produce department. I can no longer say that I get paid to handle other people’s meat. Instead, now I get to say that I get paid to be around a bunch of fruits all day. It’s not quite as gay, but it’ll do.
I’m off to go hang with the bestie who has just returned from Boston. We’ve had a rocky couple of years, but I’m glad that she’s still there for me =]
Now you are even CLOSER to my department. I’m so happy. Someday we will take a damn break together. :p
I had so many people tell me how awesome I look today, figure wise. It is the greatest feeling in the world. I worked my ass off to lose weight, and I’m glad people notice it. I want to be skinnier though, it is like an obsession.
There’s nothing simple when it comes to you and I
Always something in this everchanging life
And there probably always will
Now that time is getting harder to come by,
The same arguments are always on our mind
We’ve killed this slowly fading light
And now something
Has kept me here too long
And you can’t leave me
If I’m already gone
Stop being an ass, or I’m done. I don’t deserve this.
Everytime I think about it, see a picture, or hear you talk about it I get a little more upset about not going to Florida. It literally kills me you will be down there partying it up, probably with fucking girls again, without me. And that i probably won’t cross your mind once.
I wish this turned out different. I should have just fucking said yes when you asked if I wanted you to not go.
